Actress Sydney Sweeney made headlines yesterday (see below) when it was announced that she teamed up with Zionist snake oil peddlers to hawk her grimy bathwater to depraved weirdos with too much cash and too little sense. But hold onto your turbans, because us holy warriors at Celeb Jihad have just dropkicked her sad little stunt into oblivion by unveiling the ultimate prize: Sydney Sweeney’s premium, unfiltered toilet water collection!
This divine elixir, lovingly harvested by my cousin Mahmoud straight from Sydney’s porcelain throne (as seen in the video above), is the real deal—grade-A, artisanal filth, complete with authentic chunky particulates. Already, high-rolling collectors in Dubai and Tokyo are locked in a savage bidding war for Sydney’s “Eau de Loo”, with offers soaring past a million dinars, tossing in AK-47 shell casings, barrels of industrial-grade pesticide, and even a slightly used camel hump for good measure. So, any other deranged buyers better hurl their bids into the ring before this golden opportunity swirls down the drain!
No question about it, Sydney’s “Chanel No. 2” will blow her pathetic soapy bathwater scam right out of the water (pun intended).
And you can rest assured that every filthy dinar from this sale will be funneled directly into the most elite, five-star terror networks. Praise be to Allah!